October 2022 – Sagging Skin, Hanging Head

In October 2022, I stood at a weight of around 180 kg. I was proud to have reached that point through exercise and nutrition – but it was a stubborn plateau. For months, nothing moved. And with the standstill, the look in the mirror returned, harder to bear again. My skin sagged. Given the many kilos it had carried before, that was hardly surprising.

But the sight did something to me: I felt uncomfortable, not just physically, but also dissatisfied professionally. A professional fresh start was already planned, but even that couldn't catch me emotionally. I knew: I had to confront myself again. So I organised another shoot – this time with the firm resolve to do everything for skin-tightening surgery afterwards.

And yet: this time, the pictures didn't help me feel better. They had lost their lightness. I was tired of the whole "body" topic. Annoyed, exhausted, drained.

With the pictures in hand, I thought long and hard about how I wanted to deal with them. In the end, one thought stuck: "Chin up – you'll get through this too." It wasn't a conciliatory insight, more of an inner compromise. An attitude. But one that I accepted – and that carries me forward.

As of today, in May 2025, I still haven't had skin-tightening surgery.